Do you experience shame or guilt after you eat certain foods? If so, are you actually upset over the food itself or the portion size? Write it out.
Absolutely. As much as I like to think I have a pretty healthy relationship with food, there are plenty of times when I feel anxious or guilty about eating certain foods, especially sweets or basically anything calorically-dense.
Rarely, though, am I actually upset about the food itself. Instead, it has to do with my endless anxiety of perfectionism. Despite having improved my relationship with food over the years, most days I have an idea in mind for how much I want to eat and what I want that to be made of. I can only handle spontaneity, especially around food, if it’s, well, planned.
When I do allow a little bit of spontaneity into my life, I struggle to find balance. The spontaneity, compared with my normal rigidity, shows how much I restrict myself – if not calorically, then mentally. Stepping outside of the comfort zone of my daily routine, it’s hard to fit back in. So then I hop onto the pendulum of enjoying too much and feeling disappointed afterwards.
I’ve gotten much better at allowing the feeling of disappointment to pass. I’m no longer as attached to this need to constantly be perfect. This need to view any detour as a major setback. Instead, I can acknowledge it as a part of life. Nevertheless, I still have a lot of work to do.
Black Iron Nutrition is offering a 30 Day Mindful Eating Challenge that includes journal prompts and tasks to help bring more mindfulness to our relationships with food. And I’m in! This post is in response to today’s prompt to keep myself accountable and get the most out of my participation. If you’re interested in joining the free challenge, sign up at Black Iron Nutrition’s website here.