The last time I had my name on a lease was when I packed up my apartment in Hoboken, NJ three years-ish ago. It’s been a while.
At the time, I was in the process of moving to Italy. When it didn’t pan out, I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted to be so I, basically, didn’t decide. In the meantime, I was lucky to have the option to stay with family or in Airbnbs. I had a chance to explore some new places, travel, and go through various phases of wanting to settle down.
The end of an era
Last week, my husband arrived in the US. We were working on getting his permanent residence visa for the past year or so. In the meantime, I lived part-time in New Jersey, with my mother, and part-time in Rio, with him. While it gave the impression of sounding relatively glamorous when I said it out loud (“Ooooh, Rio!”), it was not.
For the past few years, I felt unstable and ungrounded. I was never in one place long enough to nurture my friendships, develop a routine, or explore hobbies. By the time I started to feel comfortable, it was time to leave again. (It also wreaked havoc on my ability to pack short-time, since they were always such long trips!)
As much as I began craving staying in one place, I also loved the freedom it gave me. We’re going apartment-hunting later this week and I find myself feeling so anxious about it. The thought of putting pen-to-paper and choosing “home” for the next few years makes my heart race. There’s so much to do, so much to organize, so much to buy!
But it’s time. My health has gone a little rogue over the past year from all of the travel and under-recovering/sleeping. Having months where I don’t go anywhere sounds, well, kind of amazing.
I started working with a nutrition coach about a month ago. Each week we have a check-in and she’s always saying that routine is key for health. It’s hard to be consistent when you can’t predict what your days will look like – or you can predict that all of your days are going to look super different and hectic each week.
While I’m still up in the air since we’ll be in an Airbnb for the next month, it’s exciting to think of what’s next. I’ve started a new training program and, as I mentioned, I’m working with a nutrition coach. I feel like I’m finally getting out of the slump of these injuries, which is making it easier and more fulfilling to explore different parts of our new city.
Transitions are always uncomfortable. Even if it’s a transition into something seemingly calmer and more stable, it still feels like new territory. So I’m taking my time, feeling those fears, and keeping my mind open to what comes next. Fingers crossed, this place sticks for home for a while!